It’s that time of year again. That time when Valentine’s cards, candies, and decorations are slowly taking over our local grocery stores and the word “love” becomes inescapable. Valentine’s Day is a time when many focus on expressing their care and admiration for others in their lives, whether platonic, romantic, or other. It can be a wonderful celebration of showing appreciation to our loved ones, but this year I encourage you to shift perspectives to a different type of love: self-love. “Self-love” is one of those phrases that we often hear, but what does it really mean? With clients, and in my own life, I consider self-love to be an ongoing intentional practice that allows us to take time to meet our own needs and wants, expressing our gratitude to ourselves in the way that we so often do for others.
What is Self-Love?
Self-love focuses on caring for and building respect for how we treat ourselves and the activities that we choose to engage in. This can be mentally, physically, emotionally, or anything that impacts the manner of how you view yourself. Oftentimes, self-love is mixed up with selfishness, but the two couldn’t be more different. Selfishness tends to focus on the concept of putting yourself above others, often to the detriment of those around you, and without consideration for anyone but yourself. Self-love on the other hand, changes the perspective to being a practice of prioritizing your needs and showing yourself kindness so you can be your best self, ultimately allowing you to extend that same love to others.
How Can I Practice it?
Self-love doesn’t have to be grand gestures or acts that are time consuming or stressful to plan. While a trip to the spa or going on a trip can be rejuvenating or fun, finding more attainable ways to incorporate it into our lives can be a great start!
Set Boundaries
As humans, we often hesitate to set boundaries for fear of being “mean” or “selfish”. On the contrary, boundaries allow you to create safe and healthy relationships. Clearly communicating boundaries can protect the energy we share with the world, and prevent unwanted consequences such as burnout. Practice setting boundaries by saying no when needed, and expressing your wants and needs to others.
Affirmations
Affirmations involve practicing using positive self-talk. Whether this be saying them aloud each morning in the mirror or writing them down, we can use them to shift our mindset to combat negative thoughts. Affirmations can be tools to remind yourself of crucial elements such as “I am strong”, “I am enough”, “I am worthy” amongst any other reminders that speak to you. These statements can serve as an intentional way to increase our own self-image and improve kindness towards yourself.
Celebrate Small Wins
Life can be challenging, and it can be easy to be lost in the mentality of feeling like we are constantly battling through obstacles. Focusing on the small victories of the day can increase our personal motivation and help us to feel accomplished. These can be anything from getting out of bed in the morning, accomplishing a hard-earned task, or even just making it through another day. These are all wins worth celebrating, regardless of how small they may seem.
Rest When Needed
Getting a good night’s sleep can be life-changing in and of itself, but rest doesn’t always have to look like getting that coveted eight hours of sleep. It can be taking an hour to sit on the couch and relax, taking a quiet walk, reading a book at your leisure, or whatever you find recharges your own battery. Being in tune with your body and knowing when to take a break can provide more energy for you to engage in the things that you find meaningful.
Take Time to Reflect
It can be easy to rush from goal to goal without taking time to look back on all that we have achieved. What have you done that you never thought you would? Things like making a list of goals, both big and small, and checking them off can be great reminders that we are capable of accomplishing goals we never thought we would make. Acknowledge your growth and use it to propel you forward in your future endeavors.
Reframing Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day can often be chalked up to gift-giving and showing love for others, but this year I challenge you to change the narrative. Giving yourself the life-long gift of self-love that will last a whole lot longer than the sweet treats! Self-love can help you to improve not only your own self-image, but also allows you to free up your emotional energy to care for others.
As love fills the air this February, give yourself the reminder that self-love is an ongoing and year-round commitment. Take the opportunity this year to start your self-love journey to focus on the most important relationship, the one you have with yourself!
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