Navigating the College Maze: A Guide for Parents

#collegeparent #emptynest #collegemom

As we are now in the season of Fall, we’re reminded of the changes around us: darker evenings as the sun sets earlier, crisper weather, gorgeous foliage and falling leaves.

For parents of teens who have left the family home to either attend college or pursue adulting endeavors, this change in season may be even more pronounced. Reminders of Senior Fall sports, dance competitions, musical performances; taking part in Fall activities like apple or pumpkin picking as a complete family unit. The dinner table might even feel a bit different with one empty seat.

It is normal and natural for parents to be going through a myriad of emotions – pride and joy that your child is happy and thriving in their chosen university or job. Fear and anxiety that they’re making good decisions. Sadness and grief that there is an emptiness within the household. There may even be an internal questioning as a parent of “who am I now?” or “what am I supposed to be doing next?”

Here are some tips on how to navigate the new normal of having a kid off to college/in the working world:

· Acknowledge Your Feelings. If you’re sad, feel sad. Lonely? Feel lonely. FEEL all the FEELS. Lean into however you’re feeling, and feel it authentically. We run into emotional trouble when we push our true feelings down or tell ourselves “this is silly...I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Yes...you should. It’s ok to feel how you feel.

· Prioritize Self-Care. This can look a lot of different ways for different people. At base level, are you up to date with all medical check-ups and screenings? Did you get your Flu shot? Full-body exam at the dermatologist? Appointments that may have been pushed off because you’ve been busy dealing with your teenager’s academic and sports careers now become a priority. And then there’s the fun stuff: brunch with a friend, a round of golf, a weekly manicure --- the options are endless. Just take care of yourself.

· Connect with Others. Call a friend you haven’t seen or spoken to in a while. Meet up with the parents of your son’s hockey team for dinner. Go for a walk with a neighbor who has children grown and flown as well. There is empirical evidence showing that social connection is pivotal to optimal mental health.

If you are struggling or worried about your college child, speaking to a therapist may be helpful. We provide both in person and virtual appointments and are in network with Blue Cross Blue Shield and Aetna. Call 201-749-1750 to make an appointment today.

Lisa Pisano, LAC, NCC

Hi, I'm Lisa! I work with children ages 7-12 and adults. You have the right and the privilege as a human being to live a life free of emotional pain, and to be seen and heard by an unbiased, trusted source of support.

Click below to read more about me.