Pride, Identity, and the Meaning Behind Labels
- Jillian Lansey, LPC, NCC
- Jun 19
- 5 min read
Jillian Lansey, LPC, NCC, LCPC
When I was in my mid-twenties, I spent some time living on a farm in the Bay Area, California, as part of a farm fellowship. I shared space in an intentional community with like-minded folks who were eager to reconnect with the land and each other. Our days were filled not only with farming but also with deep, meaningful conversations about culture, religion, politics, and identity.
I remember one afternoon in the kitchen, gathered with a few of my new friends. The group was mostly made up of queer and trans individuals. At that point, I had a minor in gender studies, had already worked as a sexual health educator at an HIV clinic, and had been involved in the early days of a trans advocacy coalition at my college. Our conversation turned toward the topic of labels, and I asked, somewhat earnestly: Why do we even need them?
As we shared our thoughts, a range of perspectives emerged. Many in the group agreed there was a shared understanding that labels can help people feel seen, validated, and part of a larger community. At the same time, we acknowledged the discomfort of feeling boxed in by a word that might not fully reflect the complexity of who someone is. We didn’t land on one definitive answer that day, but the conversation stayed with me.
Sex and love advice podcaster Dan Savage offers a more succinct take. He says we need labels "to know what’s in the can." In other words, labels help us quickly understand something about each other. Whether someone is a gamer, a gym enthusiast, or an orthodontist, those identifiers offer clues about their interests, lifestyle, or values. Still, labels are just one part of the picture. They should not define the entire person.
This idea is also relevant in the world of mental health. When I was in graduate school, I took a course on diagnosis. I remember the professor explaining that a diagnosis is simply a collection of symptoms that helps describe what someone is experiencing. It’s a communication tool that guides treatment, connects people to research, and helps match them with effective therapeutic approaches. However, two people with the same diagnosis can experience it in very different ways. A diagnosis can help someone feel seen and understood, and it is important that it doesn’t reduce them to a single definition.
While identity labels and diagnostic labels both serve as tools for understanding and connection, it’s important to recognize that queer and trans identities are not conditions or pathologies. Unlike diagnoses, which are used to guide treatment in clinical settings, identity labels are chosen or embraced by individuals to reflect who they are and how they relate to the world.
For many queer and trans people, labels can be a meaningful part of understanding themselves and finding community. When someone shares a label with you, it can be helpful to ask, What does that word mean to you? Even when two people use the same identity label, their experiences and relationship to that word can be entirely different. Labels can foster connection, build community, and support advocacy. They can also lead to assumptions or oversimplifications if we stop listening once a label is shared.
Below are some identities included in the LGBTQIA2+ acronym and beyond. These definitions are meant as a starting point. Each person may relate to these terms in unique and personal ways.
Lesbian
A woman who is romantically or sexually attracted to other women. Some nonbinary people also identify as lesbian.
Gay
Typically refers to a man who is attracted to other men, but can also be used more broadly for people attracted to the same gender.
Bisexual
Someone who is attracted to more than one gender, not necessarily in the same way or at the same time.
Transgender
A person whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth. Trans people may or may not choose to transition.
Queer
A broad, inclusive term that can refer to sexual and/or gender identities that are not straight or cisgender. It is a reclaimed word that embraces fluidity and defiance of traditional norms.
Intersex
Someone born with physical sex characteristics (such as chromosomes, hormones, or anatomy) that don’t fit typical definitions of male or female. Intersex is a natural variation of human biology.
Asexual (Ace)
A person who experiences little or no sexual attraction. Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and some ace people experience romantic attraction.
Two-Spirit
A culturally specific identity used by some Indigenous North American people to describe someone who embodies both masculine and feminine spirits. This term holds sacred and traditional significance and should not be used outside of Indigenous contexts.
Nonbinary:
An umbrella term for gender identities that do not fit within the traditional binary of male or female. Nonbinary individuals may identify with aspects of both, neither, or move between genders.
Cisgender:
A term for people whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth, such as someone assigned female who identifies as a woman.
Demisexual
A person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection. Demisexuality exists on the asexual spectrum.
Aegosexual
A person who may experience sexual feelings or fantasies but does not desire to participate in sexual activity, often feeling disconnected from those experiences.
Homoromantic
A person who is romantically, but not necessarily sexually, attracted to people of the same gender.
Heteroromantic
A person who is romantically attracted to a gender different from their own, without necessarily experiencing sexual attraction.
You don’t need to “figure someone out.” What matters most is creating space for people to show up as their full, authentic selves and to feel safe doing so.
Happy Pride Month!
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