Navigating Grief During the Holidays
The holiday season is a time when togetherness and joy take center stage. But for many of us, this time of year can also bring up waves of grief and be a reminder of loved ones who are no longer with us. While others are celebrating, we may feel a loss that is hard to reconcile with the festivities around us.
The Persistent Nature of Grief
Grief is something we carry with us, not something we just “get over.” Our feelings of grief may change over time, but they do not disappear, and certain events may intensify feelings we can normally cope with. The emphasis on family during the holiday season can bring our feelings of loss right back to the surface. These feelings are natural and expected but can feel jarring during a season when happiness feels obligatory.
If you find yourself struggling to reconcile your sadness with the cheer surrounding you, know that you are not alone, and your feelings are completely valid. The idea that we must “move on” is simply not how grief works. Feelings of loss ebb and flow, intensifying during meaningful times like this.
The “Car” Analogy of Grief
Grief is like a passenger in your car. When it first arrives, it’s front and center, sitting squarely in the passenger seat, making it hard to see the road ahead. Its presence can be so overwhelming that it feels impossible to imagine a life where it’s not right beside you, clouding your view.
Over time, grief may shift seats. It might move to the backseat, still with you but allowing you to see the path forward more clearly. You can carry on with your journey, though you know it’s still there, a quieter presence in the background of your life. But during certain times, like the holidays, grief might move right back to the front, obscuring your view again, reminding you of its weight and significance.
Grief, like this ever-present passenger, never truly leaves. It changes its place in your journey, sometimes riding quietly in the background, and other times pulling back into the foreground, asking to be acknowledged once more.
Tips for Honoring Your Grief During the Holidays:
Give Yourself Grace: You are not obligated to be joyful every moment during the holiday season. Allow yourself the time and space to feel whatever comes up for you. It is okay to take a step back from activities or traditions that feel overwhelming or painful.
Accept the Duality of Emotions: You may find yourself moving between moments of joy and sadness, and this is entirely normal. You can enjoy the company of loved ones while also experiencing feelings of loss. This oscillation between loss and presence is a part of processing grief, allow yourself to feel both.
Reach Out and Share Your Experience: Grief can be deeply isolating, particularly during the holiday season. Sharing feelings of loss or memories of a loved one with others can help you feel less alone. Talk to friends, family members, or even a support group.
Prioritize Self-Care: It can be easy to overlook basic self-care during this emotional time, be intentional about giving your body and mind what they need: sleep, proper nutrition, activities that bring you comfort and put yourself around healthy loved ones.
If your feelings are too much to manage on your own or with your current support system, please reach out for therapy. We could help you find a place or we also have several clinicians with openings here at Healing Connections Counseling Center in Ramsey, NJ. Call 201-749-1750 to make an appointment today.
Remember, You are Not Alone
Hi, I’m Madison! I love helping kids, teens, parents and adults build resilience, tackle tough emotions, and discover their confidence. I am all about creating a space where they can be themselves, no matter how big their feelings are. With a mix of person-centered counseling, CBT, and DBT skills, I help my clients find practical tools that actually work. And because therapy should be fun, I love weaving in their favorite things- whether it’s sports, hobbies, or that show they can’t stop talking about- into our sessions!
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