Creating Calm in the Chaos of Summer: The Importance of Both Structure and Boredom for Children

#summer #structure #children

By Izabella Garelick, Psychotherapist & Educational Psychologist

Summer is supposed to be carefree. School is out, schedules loosen up, and there’s finally room to breathe. But as a mom and a therapist who works closely with kids and families, I often see another side of summer, one where the sudden lack of structure leaves children feeling unsettled, dysregulated, and often overwhelmed.

While the freedom of summer is a gift, kids still need some level of rhythm and predictability to feel grounded. That doesn’t mean packing their days full of activities or creating rigid routines; rather, it means offering enough structure to help them feel safe, secure, and supported.

Why Kids Still Need Structure

Children, especially those who struggle with anxiety, emotional regulation, or big transitions, rely on a basic framework to help them feel safe and in control of their world. During the school year, that structure is built in. Once summer hits though, that container disappears unless we help recreate it in small, intentional ways.

Here are some examples of this type of recreated structure:

• Keeping a consistent wake-up and bedtime

• Having regular mealtimes or snack breaks

• Planning anchor points in the day like outdoor play, reading time, or quiet time. This could include breakfast, outdoor play, quiet time, an art project, an outing, then 30 mins of screen time in the afternoon.

• Weekly traditions like library visits, park days, or game nights.  For example, “Taco Tuesdays, “Library on Wednesdays” or “Friday Pizza Nights.” These recurring activities give kids something to look forward to.

  
  

These touchpoints more smoothly provide a sense of "what comes next," which calms the nervous system and helps kids navigate the long, unstructured days.  

Now, Let’s Talk About Boredom

While structure is helpful, too much of it can do more harm than good.  Here’s the part that surprises some parents: boredom is not bad.  In fact, boredom is essential.

We live in a culture of constant stimulation. When our kids are bored, we often rush in to fix it.  We hand them a device, suggest an activity, and/or plan a playdate. But boredom is a creative space. It's the soil where imagination grows.  Boredom gives children a chance to hear their inner voice, to learn to tolerate discomfort, and to discover what truly interests them.

When my daughters come to me with “I’m bored,” I resist the urge to fix it. Sometimes I just say, “That’s okay. You’ll figure something out.” And they do. A few minutes later, I’ll hear the sound of scissors cutting cardboard or a choreographed dance. Once, boredom led them to build a fort that stayed up for a week (becoming a home for their dolls and stuffed animals). As a therapist, I often tell parents: boredom is the beginning of self-directed play, not the end of it.

Here are a few simple tips for creating a summer that nurtures both structure and spaciousness:

• Build in “blank spaces.” Leave parts of each day unplanned so kids can relax, explore, or follow their curiosity.

• Provide materials. Keep art supplies, recycled materials, books, or building toys accessible without instruction. 

• Model stillness. Let your child see you enjoying a slow moment like reading, sitting outside, or simply being.

• Normalize boredom. Instead of solving it, respond with, “That’s okay. I wonder what you’ll come up with.”

  
  

Finding the Balance

So how do we do both, provide structure and leave room for boredom?

Think of structure as the canvas, and boredom as the blank space where the art happens.

Perhaps mornings can include a few structured activities, such as breakfast, chores, and reading. Afternoons can be more open-ended, including unscheduled time where they can decide what to do (or not do). You can even build “boredom time” into the day. Call it “quiet time” or “imagination hour.” Keep the tools (art supplies, recycled materials, books, sporting equipment, etc) nearby and let them create…

One Last Important Element and A Gentle Reminder…

Summer doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be packed with enrichment camps or perfectly balanced activities. What your child truly needs is you—your presence, your consistency, and a safe space where every part of them is welcome: the silly, the sensitive, the scared, and the strong.  With just enough structure to create a sense of security, and enough unstructured time to invite imagination,  you can offer your child(ren) a summer that nourishes them holistically and strengthens your bond as a family. Enjoy! 

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Izabella Garelick, PhD, LAC

Hi, I’m Izabella and I work with children, teens, and adults. I’m passionate about motivating and inspiring clients to enhance their mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. If you’re ready to tackle a challenge, make positive changes, or deepen your self-understanding, I’m here to support you.​

Call to start your therapy journey today! 201-749-1750

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