Sexual Abuse Awareness and Prevention Tips

#sexualabuse #survivors #prevention

April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month. Coincidentally, this is also the time of year that many parents start thinking about sending their children to camp. Camps provide great opportunities for summer fun and learning; they are also intimate settings where children are in very close contact with other campers and staff. That’s why it is so essential to take a few minutes to talk with your children and students about Body Safety.

Research states that when children are threatened, those who have learned about body safety are more likely to use self-protection strategies and/or disclose the perpetrator's attempt to abuse. Learning body-safety strategies can help be effective in preventing crimes against children.

Language

At about 18 months, most children are capable of learning to name and identify their body parts. Be sure to teach ALL parts of the body, including labia, penis, scrotum, vagina, anus, and thigh. In order for children to prevent or discuss sexual abuse, children need to use accurate vocabulary and language to communicate issues related to their body.

Body Ownership

At about the age of 4 to 5, most children will be able to understand the concept of privacy. Be sure to explain to your children that some parts of our body are private and their bodies belong to them. A great place to begin this conversation is with children's books about body ownership. Be sure to check out my recommended list of resources.

The No Touch Zone

At about age 4, teach your children the concept of the "No Touch Zone." The No Touch Zone includes the area of the body from waist to thigh, and for girls, the chest to thigh. Research has shown that teaching the "No Touch Zone" is an easier concept for a child to learn than what was being taught previously. This is because it outlines a specific area of their body and lists exactly who may touch this area of their body.

For many years, professionals taught body safety by reviewing "private parts," "down there," or the "parts covered by the bathing suit." The challenge with these concepts is they can be vague and confusing. The No Touch Zone requires caretakers to review the body parts in specific detail and emphasize that the No Touch Zone includes the area of their body from the waist to the knee. The reason why the No Touch Zone extends beyond the genitals is because the waist to knee is part of the erotic zone. Children need to know this area is also off limits to anyone who is not on the permission list.

The Right to Say No

It is critical to talk to children about the right to say no and that they have the right to say no if they are being touched in any way that is not okay. Children should learn that they are allowed to say no to another child or adult. Have your child practice saying, "NO! Don't touch my (fill in the blank)" out loud and with conviction.

Telling Someone

An important skill for children to learn about body safety is to be able to identify the people they can talk to when something happens that makes them feel bad or uncomfortable. Talk to your children about the specific people in your family and exactly which adults or friends they can talk to if “not-okay” touches should occur. Have fun with this concept by drawing together the specific people who have been identified as people to go to for help.

Keeping Secrets

Not keeping secrets may be the most difficult concept for small children to understand. Be sure to emphasize that secrets someone asks them to keep and never tell are NOT okay. Explain to your children they do not need to keep secrets even of someone else says that they should and even if they promised.

Practice These Concepts and Skills With Your Child

Once you have introduced these concepts, be sure to review them by giving your child small scenarios and ask them how they would respond. Remember, it's our job as parents, professionals, and camp counselors to keep our children safe. Children cannot be held accountable for preventing sexual abuse.

Some of the information in this post comes from the following sources: Inoculating Your Child Against Sexual Abuse by Norman Friedman; Treating Sexually Abused Children by Esther Deblinger & Anne Heflin; and When Sex Is the Subject by Pamela Wilson.

Remember, You are Not Alone

Mara Yacobi, LCSW, is a graduate of New York University Silver School of Social Work, who, for the first 20 years of her career, taught sexuality education and held clinical roles at mental health clinics, drug prevention agencies and as a school social worker.  She also lived in Israel, working on the front lines to secure medical assistance for migrant workers at Physicians for Human Rights. From each of these experiences, she cultivated a passion and expertise to provide a strength-based and person-centered approach in collaboration with her clients.

Call 201-749-1750 to inquire about therapy at Healing Connections Counseling Center, LLC.